He Doesn’t Exist

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Sebby Collins

Fuck this

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Year:

2024

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We’re in a cost of living crisis
So we gon’ f*ck that giving kindness
I know Christmas is for giving
But this Christmas there’s no gifting
‘Cause it’s expensive like expenses
We’re stressed ‘cause the electric’s too expensive
I think Christmas dinner’s a banger
And I don’t mean that I like crackers
Riding ‘round my block in October
These lights blind me - shock - in October
It’s too early to stock in October
They should wait ‘til we’re not in October
Don’t even get me started on cracker jokes
Some people see them as knee-smacker jokes
Global warming means we’ll have no snow
Christmas traffic means people go slow
 
All the children are waiting on Santa Claus
We don’t know this yet but he’s taking a pause
To check his Christmas list, and he ain’t thick but this
Might be too much to take; he doesn’t exist
 
Yeah, we’re in Winter now
So back up from your splinter now
Especially when the heat runs out
Hearing this will be a treat, no doubt
And with this flow, I’m gonna go
Outside my home, find there’s no snow
But just ‘cause I roam, I’ll drop some white coke
And Bieber’s under the mistletoe
Waiting for a little ho
While kids wishing for a little snow
In December, we have Advent greed
In September, my fam put up their tree
LadBaby will make us all lol
When they sing about sausage rolls
Raising money for the food banks
I’ll just listen for a good laugh
 
All the children are waiting on Santa Claus
We don’t know this yet but he’s taking a pause
To check his Christmas list, and he ain’t thick but this
Might be too much to take; he doesn’t exist
All the children are waiting on Santa Claus
We don’t know this yet but he’s taking a pause
To check his Christmas list, ‘cause he ain’t thick but this
Might be too much to take; he doesn’t exist

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