Asshole

Came to the world at a time when it was in need of a villain An asshole, that role I think I succeeded fulfillin' But don't think I ever stopped To think that I was speaking to children Everything was happening so fast It was like I blinked, sold three million Then it all went blank, all I remember is feelin' ridiculous 'Cause I was getting sick of this feelin' Like I am always under attack, man I could have stacked my shit list to the ceilin' Women dishin' but really thinking "If anyone ever talks to one of my little girls Like this I would kill him" Guess I'm a little bit of a hypocrite when I'm rippin' shit But since when did this many people ever give a shit What I had to say? It's just my opinion If it contradicts how I'm livin', put a dick in your rear end That's why every time you mentioned a lyric I thanked you for it, for drawing more attention toward it 'Cause it gave me an enormous platform I'm flattered you thought I was that important But you can't ignore the fact that I fought for the respect And battled for it, mad awards, had GLAAD annoyed Atta-boy, they told me to slow down, and I just zoned out Good luck tryin' to convince a blonde It's like telling Gwen Stefani that she sold out 'Cause I was tryin' to leave, no doubt In anyone's mind one day I'd go down in history Think they know now, because everybody knows Everybody knows that you're just an asshole Everywhere that you go People wanna go home, everyone knows Everybody knows, so don't pretend to be nice There's no place you can hide You are just an asshole Everyone knows, everyone knows Thanks for the support, asshole! Thanks for the support, asshole! Quit actin' salty! I was countin' on you to count me out Ask Asher Roth when he round about Dissed me to shout me out Thought I was history, but Goddamn, honky That compliment's like backhanding a donkey Good way to get your ass socked in the mouth Nah, I'm off him But what the fuck is all this trash-talkin' about? The fight was fixed, I'm back and you can't stop me You knocked me down, I went down for the count I fell, but the fans caught me, and now You're gonna have to beat the fuckin' pants off me To take my belt, word to Pacquiao Momma said there ain't nothin' else to talk about Better go in that ring and knock 'em out Or you better not come out It's poetry in motion Like Freddie Roach when he's quotin' Shakespeare So what if the insults are revoltin'? Even Helen Keller knows life stinks You think it's a joke 'til you're bullet-riddled But you should give little shit what I think This whole world is a mess Gotta have a Goddamn vest on your chest And a Glock just to go watch Batman Who needs to test a testicles? Not that man Half of you don't got the guts and intestinal blockage Rest of you got lap bands Stuck to this motto before they put bath salts And all those water bottles in Colorado So get lost, Waldo! My soul's escapin' Through this asshole that is gapin' A black hole, and I'm swallowin' this track whole Better pack toilet paper, but I'm taking no crap, ho Here I go down the Bat Pole And I'm changing back into that old maniac In fact there they go tryin' to dip out the back-door, retreatin' 'Cause everybody knows Everybody knows that you're just an asshole Everywhere that you go People wanna go home, everyone knows Everybody knows, so don't pretend to be nice There's no place you can hide You are just an asshole Everyone knows, everyone knows Holy mackerel! I'm the biggest jerk on the planet Earth I smacked a girl off the mechanical bull at a tractor pull For thinkin' we had some magnetic pull Then screamed "ICP in this bitch! How do fuckin' magnets work?" 'Cause you're attractive, but we ain't attractable Hate to be dramatical, but I'm not romantical I'm making up words you can understandable, it's tragical Thinkin' some magical shit's gonna happen, that ain't practical You crackin' a joke, it's laughable 'Cause me and love's like a bad combination I keep them feelings locked in a vault So it's safe to say I'm uncrackable My heart is truly guarded, full body armor Bitch, you just need a helmet 'Cause if you think you're special, you're retarded Thinkin' you're one of a kind Like you got some platinum vagina You're a train wreck, I got a one-track mind Shorty, you're fine, but you sort of remind me of a 49er 'Cause you been a gold digger since you was a minor Been tryna hunt me down like a dog 'Cause you're on my ass but you can't get a cent 'Cause all of my spare time is spent On my nose in this binder, so don't bother tryin' Only women that I love are my daughters But sometimes I rhyme And it sounds like I forget I'm a father, and I push it farther So, Father, forgive me if I forget to draw the line It's apparent I shouldn't have been a parent I'll never grow up, so to hell with your parents And motherfuckin' Father Time, it ain't never gonna stop A pessimist who transformed to an optimist in his prime So even if I'm half-dead, I'm half alive Poured my half empty glass in a cup So now my cup has runneth over And I'm 'bout to set it on you like a mothafuckin' coaster I'm going back to what got me here, yeah, cocky And can't knock being rude off, so fear not, my dear And dry up your teardrops, I'm here White America's mirror, so don't feel awkward or weird If you stare at me and see yourself, because you're one too Shouldn't be a shock, because everybody knows Everybody knows that you're just an asshole Everywhere that you go People wanna go home, everyone knows Everybody knows, so don't pretend to be nice There's no place you can hide You are just an asshole Everyone knows, everyone knows