So Far...

I own a mansion, but live in a house A king-size bed, but I sleep on the couch I'm Mr.Brightside, glass is half full But my tank is half empty, gasket just blew This always happens, thirty minutes from home Gotta lay a log cabin, only option I have is McDonald's bathroom In a public stall, dropping a football So every time someone walks in the john I get Madden "Shady, what up?" What? Come on, man, I'm crapping And you're asking me for my autograph on a napkin? Oh, that's odd, I just happened to run out of tissue Yeah, hand me that, on second thought I'd be glad then "Thanks, dawg, name's Todd, a big fan" I wiped, crumbled it up in a wad and threw it back and Told him "Todd, you're the shi-" when's all of this crap end? Can't pump my gas without causing an accident Pump my gas, cut my grass, I can't take out the f- trash Without someone passing through my sub', harassing I'd count my blessings, but I suck at math I'd rather wallow than bask, sufferin' succotash But the antacid, it gives my stomach gas When I mix my corn with my f- mashed Potatoes, so what? Ho, kiss my country bumpkin a- Missouri Southern roots, what the f- is upper-class? Call lunch dinner, call dinner supper Tupperware in the cupboard, plasticware up the Stuck in the past, iPod, what the f- is that? B-boy to the core, mule, I'm a stubborn ass Maybe that's why I feel so strange Got it all, but I still won't change Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit It's the motivation that keeps me going This is the inspiration I need I can never turn my back on a city that made me and (Life's been good to me so far) They call me classless, I heard that, I second and third that Don't know what the f- I'd doing if it weren't rap Probably be a giant turd-sack But I blew, never turned back Turned forty and still sag Teenagers act more mature, Jack F- you gonna say to me? I leave on my own terms, I'm going berzerk My nerves are bad, but I love the perks my work has I get to meet famous people, look at her, dag Her nylons ran, her skirt's snagged And I heard she drag-races, swag Tuck in my Hanes shirt tag You're Danica Patrick (yeah) work, skag We'd be the perfect match 'Cause you're a vacuum, I'm a dirtbag My apologies, no disrespect to technology But what the heck is all of these buttons? You expect me to sit here and learn that? F- I gotta do to hear this new song from Luda? Be an expert at computers? I'd rather be an encyclopedia Britannica, hell with a Playstation I'm still on my first man on some from Zelda Nintendo, b-, run, jump, punch, stab and I melt the Mozzarella on my spaghetti, put in on bread Make a sandwich with Welch's and belch They say this spray butter's bad for my health, but I think this poor white trash from the trailer Jed Clampett, Fred Sanford and welfare mentality helps to Keep me grounded, that's why I never take full advantage of wealth, I Managed to dwell within these parameters Still cramming the shelves full of Hamburger Helper I can't even help it, this is the hand I was dealt, a Creature of habit, feel like I'm trapped in an animal shelter With all these pet peeves Goddammit to hell, I can't stand all these kids with their camera cellphones I can't go anywhere, I get so mad I can yell, the Other day someone got all elaborate And stuck a head from a f- dead cat in my mailbox Went to Burger King, they spit on my onion rings I think my karma is catching up with me Maybe that's why I feel so strange Got it all, but I still won't change Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit It's the motivation that keeps me going This is the inspiration I need I can never turn my back on a city that made me and (Life's been good to me so far) Got friends on Facebook, all over the world Not sure what that means, they tell me it's good So I'm artist of the decade, I even got a plaque I'd hang it up, but the frame is all cracked I'm trying to be lowkey, hopefully nobody notices me In produce hunched over, giant nosebleed Ogre style as I mosey over to the frozen aisle By the frozen yogurt this guy approached me Embarrassed, I just did Comerica with Hova The show's over, I'm hiding in Kroeger buying groceries He just had front-row seats, told me to sign this poster Then insults me, "Wow, up close didn't know you had crow's feet" I'm at a crossroads, lost, still shopping at Costco Sloppy Joe's, bulk waffles Got caught picking my nose, ah Look over see these two hot ho- Finger still up one of my nostrils Right next to 'em stuck at the light The f- is taking forever to change It's stuck, these b- are loving it, rubbing it in Chuckling, couldn't do nothing, play it off "What you bumping? Trunk Muzik? Yelawolf's better", f- -itch They want me to flip at the label, but I won't succumb to it The pressure, they want me to follow up with another one after Recovery Was so highly coveted, but what good is a f- recovery if I fumble it? 'Cause I'ma drop the ball if I don't get a grip Hopping on shrubbery on you sons of bitches Wrong subdivision to f- with Quit snapping f- pictures of my kids I love my city, but you push me to my limit, what a pity The sh- I complain about It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out Kool-Aid stain on the couch, I'll never get it out But b-, I got an elevator in my house Ants and a mouse, I'm living the dream Maybe that's why I feel so strange Got it all, but I still won't change Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit It's the motivation that keeps me going This is the inspiration I need I can never turn my back on a city that made me and (Life's been good to me so far)