That's On Me

Is this just getting older? I can't get away from this rain I'm starting to think that's it's me And I wanna just create things But the longer it takes, I feel drained Can't remember a day I've been sober Not in a place to take blame Any more weight, I might break Tell me, do you feel the same? Guess we all go the same way I'm in a bit of a mess here Count to ten and hope to disappear I never did my homework Could I have been more than this? Finding a way exist Within a world with no risk Forcing a shoe that won't fit I spend most the day stoned and Making excuses for it Saying it helped to write this But on the real, I'm tight-lipped Shooting a shot that I'll miss And it's so far from near Why the hell am I still here? This is not the end of our lives This is just a bump in the ride And I know that it will be alright If it's not, then we're stuck, aren't we? I can't help myself but cry Every time that I realize Maybe I'll never find my smile But who's to blame? Well, that's on me Well, that's on me Well, that's on me Now that the weather is colder Nothing is masking this pain The summer was here but won't stay And we are inside like all day Regretting the things that we say And it takes a toll, yeah The conversation won't end Being a rock for your friends Cracks on the surface don't mend We only break, we don't bend And you'd think it was so clear But I can't see nothing but the fear I'm feeling so bloated Thinking a salad won't do Might as well open up two Locking myself in my room Hoping that this all ends soon And no one will notice What I will put myself through 'Cause they will hate themselves too Isn't it mad what we do? Pretending to win but just lose And it's so far from near Why the hell am I still here? This is not the end of our lives This is just a bump in the ride And I know that it will be alright If it's not, then we're stuck, aren't we? I can't help myself but cry Every time that I realize Maybe I'll never find my smile But who's to blame? Well, that's on me Well, that's on me Well, that's on me Too many things on my mind To process moments of life There's some days I lose my drive Then some can't control the fire I'm aware that things take time But I'm not a patient guy Maybe if I wait I'll find Resemblance of peace of mind This is just getting older Running away from my past Knowing the calm it won't last Being a mouse in this grass Feeling the snakes behind us and I'm searching for closure But nothing is healing these scars When I open up, they just laugh Saying if they had just half Then nothing would ever be dark Is it new me, new year Or just the same old blue sphere? This is not the end of our lives This is just a bump in the ride And I know that it will be alright If it's not, then we're stuck, aren't we? I can't help myself but cry Every time that I realize Maybe I'll never find my smile But who's to blame? Well, that's on me Well, that's on me Well, that's on me Well, that's on me